


Perfect Life

by TN_Night



Series: #EruriWeek2015 [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Eruri Week, Imperfect Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Short, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:19:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TN_Night/pseuds/TN_Night
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little drabble of Levi and Erwin growing distant. </p>
<p>Written for Eruri Week 2015, day 5, scars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect Life

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I've posted two fics in one day. This is because I fucked up the dates for when this challenge started and only just realized today, so I'm fixing it :) Anyway, this one was a bit hard to read over for me, I'm not at my best today so I guess it was good to get a bit of it out. Hope you like my drabble-y thing.

 

 

 

"Levi?"

 

At a glance, their lives were perfect. They shared a nice house with the person they loved, they had family that lived close by, they had friends. Erwin had a well paying job, while Levi went to a top university. It was one of few perfect dream lives most people wanted. 

 

And yet, even if it is perfection, is it really perfect when attained? 

 

"Yes?" His boyfriend answered from the sofa where he was watching t.v.

 

"Can you come here for a minute?" Erwin called back from his place in the dining room.

 

He could never say that he hadn't felt the pressure of this so called "Perfect Life". It was hard to keep up his work ethic as well as his relationships with his family, his friends, and especially his boyfriend. It was difficult to find the time to be social and also romantic, hard working and also relaxed– not to mention finding time just to be by himself to wind down. 

 

Levi sat down across from him at their small rectangular table, straightening his posture and folding his hands out in front of him like his boyfriend had. 

 

"What is it?" He asked, the question slightly demanding but also just curious in general.

 

Erwin could feel his own stress, but until just a few weeks ago, he'd never given much mind as to how Levi was doing. That was, until he'd started noticing a few behavioural changes. 

 

Nobody else would've noticed, because nobody would associate the words "Perfect Life" with words like "Depression" or "Over-Stressed". But once you start assuming those sorts of things are occurring, no matter the person's lifestyle, they're the only things you'll think about that person until they're proven innocent, maybe even after that. 

 

"I wanted to bring up something that I've noticed over the past little while."

 

Erwin could've ignored what he suspected, the urging feeling that something was off about his boyfriend, that there was something he needed to investigate– but he knew that just because he _could've_ didn't mean he _should've._

 

Between Levi's class schedules as well as his own work schedules, the other's homework and his reports, the general lack of communication and the fact they were nearly always out of the apartment at different times for one reason or another, Erwin really could barely believe he'd noticed that Levi'd stopped eating with and around him altogether, that he'd sleep even less than a normal student would, that he'd never wear loose or short sleeved/legged clothing around him or anyone anymore.

 

"Well?" Levi said, motioning for him to get on with it.

 

He probably should've thought through how he was going to bring the subject up a bit more, but whatever, not everything has to be perfectly planned, "I was wondering if you wanted to eat dinner with me tonight."

 

It was a valid request, considering they hadn't even _seen_ each other eating anything for the past few months, hence Erwin's concern.

 

Levi shifted a uncomfortably in his seat, "I can't, I'm finishing a paper that's due soon, so if you'll excuse me," he made a move to get up, hoping he could get out of the conversation as soon as possible– as if he knew exactly where it was going. 

 

However, Erwin grabbed his arm before he could get too far, _then_ Levi flinched and drew his arm back with a little bit too much force and speed.

 

"Levi, do you want me to straight up ask you what's going on? Or would you rather we play an awkward game of twenty questions until I guess," Erwin asked, his furrowed brow only now showing his concern.

 

"I don't want to talk at all right now, so just back the fuck–"

 

"Levi, please," he begged, still holding onto the hem of his boyfriends shirt so he didn't try to leave again.

 

The other inhaled slowly, closing his eyes and obviously trying to calm himself, "What. What do you want to know."

 

The tension was obviously way too thick at the moment, this wasn't just about the conversation at hand, it was also about the simple fact that they didn't even know each other anymore. At first glance, their life together was more like two lives intersecting in some places, but not entwining fully. 

 

"You won't get too pissed at me?"

 

"I'm already pissed at you."

 

Erwin sighed, "Roll up your sleeves, Levi."

 

The other's breath hitched a bit, but after a second of hesitating, he did follow through with his commitment and pull up his left sleeve, revealing the expected neat lines of white and pink scars along his arm. Thankfully, none of them were too red or fresh. Sadly, they were a reality and very much a problem. 

 

Erwin slowly brought up his hand, silently trailing his fingers up Levi's arm, though never touching a single scar. Finally reaching his sleeve, he pulled the material back over the skin, re-concealing the morbid artwork of a knife. Though he didn't move his gaze from where it had focused on the arm.

 

"I don't want to lose you more than I already feel like I have," Erwin said quietly.

 

Levi snorted, "What, you think I'm a completely different person now because of what I've done to myself?"

 

"You know that's not what I meant," he said, shaking his head.

 

He glared at him, "No, I'm not sure I do."

 

"What I _mean_ is that we never talk anymore. And yes, I do know that it's partially my fault we don't, but I just…I feel like if we were closer you would at least want to tell me about stuff like this, at least you'd've let me know so I could've helped earlier…"

 

Now it was Levi's turn to sigh, "I know I just…we're both busy, I shouldn't be complaining to you when you're just as fuckin' stressed as I am."

 

"I'm calmed just being with you, Levi. It makes me sad to think that you're assuming you can't talk to me about stuff like this just because I won't be able to complain in equal to you. I don't mind, really. I'd prefer you taking all your stress and anger out on me over onto the feeling of physical pain."

 

They stood in silence for several minutes, neither looking at each other or speaking, but it wasn't awkward, just…quiet. 

 

"So…" Levi broke up the silence, "Are we going to start being…us again?"

 

"Rather than just two people who live with each other? I would love to, as long as you would."

 

"Yeah, I'm good," he said, walking into Erwin's chest and resting his head in the other's collarbone. 

 

Erwin chuckled as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's smaller frame, "I'm glad."

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
